The Funeral That Was A Gift

Church window, cross and bible verse stained glass window., originally uploaded by Sans Soucie Art Glass Studios, Inc..

We have attended three funerals in the past four weeks. Our own minister says he dislikes performing funerals and one can hardly blame him.

When I was young, my Mother planned many of the funerals and I was quite used to the protocol. Of course that was in Toronto and visitations and funerals are a little different here in Texas.

A few months ago, I made the mistake of showing up in a dress. I was the only one and when I mentioned it to the person's sister, she gave me a good rule to go by:

"When in doubt, wear pants." That's what she said.

So, I acquired a new black jacket and a new navy jacket in my current size. So, I was ready this time.

A major difference between Ontario and here is that there is only one visitation, generally in the evening from six to eight at the funeral home. We used to have afternoon and evening visitations with the funeral the next day.

Here in Texas, people are generally more casually dressed than I was used to but I am afraid I have not changed much for that.

Possibly more of our funerals where I live are at the church rather than the funeral home. We often have hymns that the congregation sings as well.

Something that has changed and I imagine it is in Canada as well, is the wonderful Powerpoint presentation of family photos on a TV screen at the visitation. It enables us to enjoy the happier times of that person's life.

The recent funerals were very fine. One was for an older man from our congregation who had been sick for a long time. Yes, he was older . . . that would be about a year younger than I am now. I enjoy his grandchildren very much and his daughter works tirelessly with our youth.

He was a man who was generous with humor as well as money and way back when he was still fairly well, he liked to kid that the computer should say,

"Windows Are Closing." He loved to talk about once having lunch with Warren Buffett . . . who wouldn't? He was an accountant . . . that would be an accountant with a fine sense of humor.

The second man was also younger than I . . . about eight years younger and had had Alzheimer's for a long time. His wife and I scrapbooked together as well as attending the same church. She has two wonderful granddaughters who she likes to spend lots of time with and has made the most of the years her husband has been in healthcare. He was a psychologist/counselor, working in the government.

Yes, today's funeral was also for a man younger than I. He was 65 and probably succumbed to the effects of Agent Orange in combat. He was a musician who played church music on both the organ and the piano. He loved dogs and he loved music. He wrote for the newspaper and still loved to send in letters to the editor which were a joy to read. I did not really know as well as I know his sister and brother-in-law.

What I want to tell you is this. Last night after we were at the visitation at the funeral home, we were wondering if we really should attend the service today as we really were not as close to him as his family. I thought about it and suggested that there would probably be some very special music. Well, yes, we were there.

This was a funeral that truly was not a funeral but a true celebration. If you can understand that this man digitally recorded some music himself which was played along with some major talented others playing wonderful old hymns and classical music, then you can understand this.

Two ministers, his brother-in-law and a friend, gave the invocation and benediction. His nephew recalled some fond memories of his uncle and everything else was music.

One of his friends did step over to the keyboard mid-service and play "Tea For Two" which is something the man himself was known to do if a choir practice was getting boring . . .

Thank you, my friend for a wonderful gift that everyone there today enjoyed. I imagine you were looking down and smiling at such a non-traditional remembrance of you.

The music we heard was: Suite No. 5 in G Major, Amazing Grace; Balm in Gilead; Sheep May Safely Graze; It Is Well; Choral Prelude on Rhosymedre; Fugue in E-flat Major and Thine Is The Glory.

What a wonderful way to remember our friend . . .