Reaching Out . . . Forgetting Ourselves

Hugs and fun, a photo by VOAWW on Flickr.

If we sit down and think about all the bad things . . . and they do happen quite often . . . we make ourselves feel lower and lower; worse and worse. When we keep our eyes and ears open to hear how others are doing, we can find all manner of opportunities to brighten someone else's day. And every time we brighten someone else's day, our own day gets so much better!

Times are tough. There is no disputing that. Everything costs more; crime is high; people walk around looking at cell phones instead of smiling at other people. It is not the most fun time we have known.

If you become a people watcher and really listen to what those around you are saying, you may be surprised at how much better your own life will get when you reach out to others.

It only takes a moment to reach out and say, "Hello, how are you?" It takes a few minutes to listen to someone tell you about their loved one who is sick. It only takes a few minutes to really listen to someone and make them feel a little better about themselves.

We must get back to interacting with others and helping one another like people used to do.

Blessings to you.

Write a Fit Poem!

Chairman George Miller, Richard Simmons and Rep. Ron Kind, a photo by House Committee on Education and the Workforce Dem on Flickr.

Most people who know me know I have fought a weight battle for most of my life. The one person who has helped me through his website, clubhouse, e-mail messages and regular Monday night meetings is Richard Simmons.

Now, I love writing but poems are not my strong suit.

Here is a poem written for tonight's meeting:


Because I love me
Exercise is my friend
Because I love me
My life is on the mend

Because I love me
I meet with Richard's Friends
Reduce the calories
And lots of knee bends!

I love me best
When the scale goes down
With chats with the rest
Success is found!

I never - ever - pretended to write good poetry, but if even one person sees this and goes to Richard Simmons' website and is helped, it is worth posting it here! (The challenge Richard set out was that the first line be "I love me".)

www.richardsimmons.com

Come To Our Concert!

At First Presbyterian: Mark your calendars for a joint recital featuring two of our SFA choir members, Shelby and Miles, Sunday, February 26 at 2:00 in our sanctuary This will be a fund raiser to help them with their SFA Europe tour! A love offering will be taken.

Westminster Kennel Club Show

Please go to our Fido and Fifi Blog for details to watch this dog show tonight and it will continue tomorrow.

http://fido.and.fifi.blogspot.com

A Day For Remembering . . .

 

Today is a time for remembering how precious time with friends really is. This picture was taken at The Pickle Barrel in Toronto in July, 2007. Hubby and I came off the highway to meet my "old friend" Belinda and her husband, D'Arcy, who took this casual shot of us. Even if you just pick up the phone; even if you just have a few minutes, take time to talk to your friends. Take time to give them a hug. Life is fragile and we must never take it for granted.

Today, it is four years since her death, yet I think of Belinda every day. She made me laugh: she worried about me . . . and many others. She stopped in to see people who needed a smile and she loved animals like no one else.

My guardian angel, you are going to have another grandson very soon. We pray he will be healthy; we know he will be handsome and I think he just might have a little dimple in his chin!

May everyone have such a friend in their lifetime!

Meeting People Where They're At

The notion that in everyday life we can do other than meet people as they are today is probably what causes more heartache and disappointment in life than any other.

The thought that one has before marrying that one can “change” another person might be the most obvious. Actually, a search for a perfect mate is probably the biggest optical illusion in our world – certainly our North American world.

When marrying, we try to first meet and then chose a mate with the most compatible traits and experiences. We learn to live with our mate’s opposing likes and beliefs because we love them so much for other traits like compassion, beliefs, sense of humor, intellect and probably because they like doing a lot of the same things we do.

When choosing friends, we should be using a similar process. We pick people we hope would like to be our friends because they have similar interests and intelligence. Perhaps their smile caught our attention. Perhaps they like helping other people. Maybe they have similar beliefs to ours.

When we come to the end of the road and face an open casket of a loved one, friend or relative, it is too late to say, “I am sorry”. It is one of life’s greatest hurts that a person cannot accept that someone sometimes does things they do not like. Who among us is perfect and can expect perfection of others?

There is no university course or degree that enables us to mold others to our belief of what is an appropriate way to live. Parents try to teach their children what is right and what will work in this world. As children mature, their parents have to hope that they did a good job when they were young enough.

Most of us find out that we cannot pick others choices in adulthood. If we do not agree with how that person lives, their hobbies, the things that give them pleasure, we need to step back. It is not in order – if we wish to keep them as friends – to try to tell them how to live their life.

I have some new friends who are teaching me how to make new friends. I do not have to know their life story; I am just meeting them exactly where they are today.

One has an especially pretty smile. Another always extends their arm to help me down steps and sends happy text messages that make me know I am accepted.

Another lady waves to me – just a little tiny wave – when I am up in the choir. I really look forward to her wave!

Another ran out to make sure I had a Bible Study book and another apologized for not giving mugs a week earlier.

These are gentle people. These are people who make us believe we are wanted. We want to reciprocate.

When we try to change others, we hurt them but even more, we hurt ourselves.

Reading dissertations on how I should behave probably is the grimmest task I have had.

Those of us who remember Popeye, know he had the right idea when he would say,

“I yam who I yam.”

We are who we are because of the life experiences we have had. We are not accountable to every person in this world to tell them our life experiences.

I do not ask others their life experiences and they may or may not know mine.

We must interact with people as we find them. We cannot change them – well not on purpose – and we have not had all their experiences. As we build a relationship, we may find we have had some similar problems and delights in our lives. Then perhaps we will become closer friends.

We fail each time we enforce our expectations on others because they must have their own thoughts on what they want. Only they know everything about themselves: where they have been and their experiences. This has shaped them and they know all too well their inadequacies.

Lest we forget that Popeye may have got his line from the Bible:

"God also said to Moses, I am who I am . . . " Exodus 3:14, NIV

Christmas Is a Little Girl in a Red Dress . . . and Other Memories

christmas dress 8, a photo by Southern June Bugs on Flickr.

When I was about this little girl's age, I had a red velvet dress too. Something about red velvet that makes it perfect for Christmas!

This year, a couple of Sundays ago, we (the choir) were singing The Cantata in the loft facing the congregation. When we came toward the end, I saw a young girl stand up and lean with her arms over the back of the pew in front. She was smiling very wide and I teared up to see someone so young familiar with the music. (Yes, she was wearing a red velvet dress.)

Of course, the big thrill was the standing ovation the congregation gave us when we finished. Wow . . . all that practicing seemed easy now!

There were delightful cookies and egg nog in the narthex after.

A lady was waiting to thank me for the note I had sent her.

Another gal came up to show me she was wearing the little angel pin I had given her the night we decorated the tree in the sanctuary.

Christmas season can be a time of extremes and this year, I wanted to make it very, very simple. The house was decorated simply. Meals were simple.

Now, most things are away and we are looking to a new year.

We have so many blessings and we know it. As we get older, we try to simplify and make it easier on ourselves.

On New Year's Eve, we will watch Dick Clark who has never given up. I admire him for that!

For everyone who has lost someone this year or who has illness themselves or in their family, we are praying.

And we will be back in church on Sunday to sing more of the season's beautiful music.

God Bless . . . especially little girls in red velvet!

J.R. Martinez Wins . . . Again!

IAVA Heroes Gala, a photo by IAVA.org on Flickr.

Yes, he won a purple heart . . . Yes, he has won several awards. But this week, J.R. Martinez won on Dancing With The Stars and that says something nice about how our world is evolving!

Later this week, there was another event to talk about! J.R. received a telephone call from Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, who invited J.R. to the Pentagon.

This is so W-O-W! You gotta love it!

Way to go, J.R. and may the wind be at your back and all good things happen for you, our favorite Veteran this week! I think there are a lot of Veterans just waiting to meet you and catch some of your enthusiasm!

God Bless J.R.!

Cheerful Giving This Season

For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, "You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land."

- Deuteronomy 15:11

It was really nice to find out today that our city has already exceeded this year's goal for United Way! I was kind of worried, because times are definitely tough this year and people are being very careful with spending and giving.

Last year, I was very fortunate to work on a fundraiser where a financial institution would match what we raised. We planned a BBQ which is a really good way to make money in our area. But, wanting to make sure we raised a healthy amount for a couple in our church congregation who had staggering medical bills, I went out on my own as well.

I want to tell you because perhaps you would not believe that there are many people out there who - seeing a need - will give freely and without extra explanation.

I was surprised that several people gave me cash and did not worry about a receipt or any recognition. Yes, surprised, but I cannot tell you just how good that made me feel inside. It restored (as we always say) my faith in humanity.

As we come up to the Christmas season, there will be more people than ever who need some help this year. Times are very tough. Many people are without jobs. Many seniors have seen investments shrink and many are on fixed incomes. Prices are higher just about everywhere. The groceries have increased enormously in price.

When you see the Salvation Army Bell Ringer in front of the store, try placing a coin in the kettle as often as you can. You might not miss the coin and you will receive a strong ring of the bell, a "Merry Christmas" and a big smile every time.

Look for specials on staples like peanut butter and canned vegetables in the weekly ad. Stock up so you have items ready for churches, schools, military, companies and mailmen collecting this season.

Some collections will not be for food; some will be for toys.

How are we going to meet all the needs in our community this year?

Well, become familiar with all the various "dollar" stores. Watch the newspaper ads (which you can access online as well). Get the best value for what you can spend.

What you can do for your fellow man will do even more for you. Your heart will be smiling that you were able to help even a few families this season.

Get your whole family involved. Your children will feel just as good about helping out as you do.

Then, do it quietly, without fanfare. All you really have to do is place your donation in a box, a basket, under a table - wherever is designated. Someone has pledged their time to collect these donations and take them to where they will do the most good.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

~ Matthew 6: 3-4

The Lord loves a cheerful giver.

~ 2 Corinthians, 9:7

God Bless You and Your Family at this Season of Sharing!

Starting Life Over . . . on Dancing With The Stars

CGI U 2011 Service Project at the San Diego Food Bank, a photo by Clinton Global Initiative on Flickr.

Not going to bore you with too many details because if you are watching Dancing With The Stars, you already know that both Chaz Bono and JR Martinez have something in common: they are both starting their lives over.

Think about this as you watch the program. Think about how brave both these people have been to put their whole lives on national TV - live at that!

Tonight may be the night that Chaz Bono has too low a score to stay. But that's all right! He may not be the most elegant dancer, but he has a smile that encourages you to take a second look at a person who, born to celebrity parents found himself a man in a woman's body and had the courage to change that.

JR Martinez had his face blown to pieces fighting for our freedom. Now, he is starting his life all over again also.

Hopefully, viewers will learn from these two people that life is not nearly as frivolous as the media has often shown it to be. God Bless them both!

Note: Both Chaz Bono & JR Martinez with be back next week - thanks in part to viewer votes - and Chaz' mother, Cher will be there.

Alzheimer's Is Our Enemy

Our friend, Jimmy Squyres, died this spring after about 10 years of Alzheimer's. His

son and daughter-in-law - Jonathan & Julia - are walking tomorrow. His widow,

Charlotte, is a friend and fellow scrapbooker. If you can donate any amount - no

matter how much, it will be appreciated.

This is the link to donate on their page:

http://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=4

54601&supId=332962116&msource=bfgetwordout&ref=nf

2011 Walk to End Alzheimer's - Lufkin, TX

Change Equals Challenge

Most people find change hard. That is a statement most of us can agree with but the truth us that in our lifetimes we must undergo many changes. Change equals challenge

Illnesses or deaths of a close friend, relative or spouse probably present our biggest challenges.

Loss of a job means tremendous change especially now when jobs are very hard to find. This can cause us to change our daily routine.

Loss of relationship is not always because of death. Sometimes people move and sometimes people change how they feel about one another. That would include divorce and any type of breakdown of a relationship.

So, if we find ourselves somehow out of the circle, what should we do?

The first thing to remember is to NOT stay inside the comfort of our homes. Indeed, we MUST step outside of our "comfort zone".

People are not going to come knocking at your door, so you must get out and "knock" on theirs.

When there is a death, for instance, you can pretty much count on people giving those left lots of attention for about three weeks. So, then what should you do?

Well, for us, church represents a big part of our life. Hobbies like quilting, sewing, knitting scrapbooking, photography often open doors to being in groups of people with the same interest.

Most times we reach out to others, rather than sitting in the corner waiting for them to come to us, we are pleasantly surprised.

Volunteer to help others and visit people who cannot get out so easily. You will find it helps you as much as it helps others!

Step out and see how much you can make your life special by forgetting your problems and doing interesting things with interesting people.

Be the one who "shows up" and see how a circle of new friends surrounds you!

American Flag, a photo by bunnyfrogs on Flickr.

Where Were You?

This weekend, everyone is going to relive that horrid day on September 11, 2001.

I know I have written about this before. Probably because I am an immigrant, I may have felt differently that day.

We were packed to drive to Terre Haute, Indiana to Hubby's reunion at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. (For you Canucks, that is an engineering college.)

We saw the same images that you saw on your television. It was horrifying! Peter Jennings was at the ABC News Desk.

My Toronto mentality - from when I was a child - was to "drive north". That is what my Father always said we should do if there was a bomb or other catastrophic event.

(If you drive north from Toronto . . . up Yonge Street or Highway 11 or over to 400 Highway and just keep driving, you will be in isolation and far away from a target for terror.)

Well, that morning, that was my first thought. Then I realized that we would be driving north but just to "middle America".

I had not yet been able to attain my American citizenship but I went to the box for my passport and made sure I had that.

We called our neighbor, Lela, to tell her we were leaving.

"Be vigilant! Watch everything. Know exactly who and what is around you. That is what they are saying to do."

Lela's daughter, a broadcaster, called on my cell phone a few hours later to find out how we were doing and if we were able to get gasoline. The answer was that often the stations were out of fuel and there were long lines at all of them. So, we were stopping often.

We called ahead to the college and they assured us the reunion would be held. (We found out later that some people who were going to fly had to rent cars instead.)

We found red, white and blue ribbons in a fabric store on the way and pinned them on our lapels.

At our stop the first night, which was likely Benton, Arkansas, we turned on the TV to see Peter Jennings still manning the ABC News desk. He too was from Toronto; I think you know that.

When we were almost to Terre Haute, Keith's cousin, Shorty Clements (who has a Purple Heart from WWII) in Robinson, Illinois gave us a small American flag which we placed on the rear deck of our car.

When we arrived in Terre Haute, we took our things into the hotel and then went out to the church Hubby had gone to as a student. We went in and sat in a pew and red some bible verses.

Yes, the world stopped. It stopped just long enough for all of us to realize just how fragile life is and how precious our loved ones are to us.

God Bless America indeed!

Chaz Bono - Scapegoat For Prejudice Or Teacher of Tolerance?

6th Annual California Transgender Leadership Summit, a photo by skinnylawyer on Flicker.com

Born, raised and living in Toronto for most of my life, I simply accepted that there were many different nationalities and many, many people with different sexual orientations.

People who were not the same color as I; spoke a different language than I and gay people were just part of the daily routine.

Is there a huge difference between a child born with a clef palate who has surgery to correct it and a person who realizes they are not really the sex they were born and chooses to have that changed?

Tolerance for people different from ourselves, whether they be gay, bi-sexual, transgender, black, yellow, wearing head-coverings, etc. is a trait that I so admire.

Respect for the panhandler on the corner - a person down on their luck - a philosophy that I grew up with which says, "There but for the grace of God go I", is very important to me.

People who have never experienced meeting, befriending and learning from people of other beliefs, problems and lifestyles are to be pitied.

The more kinds of people we meet and/or know, the broader our minds, our thoughts and our lives are.

I cannot believe the press over Chaz Bono being on Dancing With The Stars. I guess they will have their biggest season ever! I personally will be phoning in my votes on the maximum phones available . . .

When we judge the other person without walking a mile in his/her shoes, we show how ignorant we truly can be.

Do you remember how Chaz' father, Sonny Bono, died? Skiing! Do you recall that he was Mayor of Palm Springs? He was not just a "straightman" for Cher!

How many people would not recognize Cher? She still looks fabulous and can belt out a song with gusto like very few others.

How would you like to be a child of these two people? Big shoes to fill! On stage all your life with every action spotlighted. Could you live like that?

I hate that where I live now - still "The South", Whites and Blacks are not that often together. Many churches have only Blacks or Whites in their congregations. I think it is bad now but I have friends who have told me what it was like 40 - 50 years ago and I have to accept that it has changed for the better.

If we only associate, only recognize people who are exactly like us - same education, similar upbringing, same color, same education, we are shortchanging ourselves of learning and all the different cultures, religions and ways to live there are out there.

God Bless and may things go well for Chaz and for his experience on DWTS!

LIVE: Hundreds of Toronto mourners honour Layton - Politics - CBC News

(Click this link to see CBC Live) LIVE: Hundreds of Toronto mourners honour Layton - Politics - CBC News

Even though I am in Texas, I can watch as throngs of people from every walk of life file past Jack Layton's casket which is Lying in State in the lobby area of Toronto City Hall at Nathan Phillips Square. You can see the people waiting outside to come in, six at a time. Even though I am 1600 miles away, I "am there". Thank you, CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation).

Tomorrow, you can go to www.CBCNEWS.ca and watch his funeral at Roy Thompson Hall streaming live. The broadcast begins at 2:00 p.m. Toronto time, 1:00 p.m. Texas time.

By the way, one of my friends from purebred dogs will be singing in the choir.

Thank you for a taste of home, CBC.

R.I.P Jack Layton

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5225/5647024627_4424442f86_m.jpg

On the night of the Canadian Elections this year, I wrote: "The interesting "wild card" was Jack Layton of Toronto who is leader of the NDP (New Democratic Party) who lead them to a historical first time Opposition Party."

(A loose translation of the sign behind Jack in the photo above is "Work Together" and that would be what promoted the NDP to "Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition"!)

Jack Layton died early this morning from prostate cancer. He will go down in the Canadian history books certainly as a person who never gave up. R.I.P. Jack Layton.

The Good Stuff!

Every day, there is news to make us unhappy in the newspaper and on TV. I am not here to review the bad stuff, I want to tell you about THE GOOD STUFF!

I am not going to use the people's own names but I want to tell you that if you look around you - stop and pay attention, there are good people and good deeds to be found every day.

I am going to call her Sarah and she gets her hair done every week at the same time as I do. Well, she did. That was until she was quietly removed from her home and "placed" in a what some call a chronic care facility.

Sarah looked after her POW husband for ten years after he had a stroke and she has been widowed as long as I can remember.

She used to drive up in her black sedan with the POW license every week and walk through the door looking like she really didn't need to have her hair done. Sarah just happens to have great hair!

Sarah was always dressed in smart slacks and top with backless pumps. I remember her appearing in advertisements for a clothing store. Sarah liked to look GOOD!

I do not know exactly why Sarah is out of her home but I suspect that her money is depleted as all we seniors worry about happening. She had a Home Health caregiver who was bringing her to the salon and then one day someone else brought her.

His truck was very high and it took two people to help Sarah get up and into that truck. That was a very bad day because we all knew that was "the end".

We found out where she was and we went to see her. She knew us. She certainly knew us!

The next week we went again to see her and she had gained some weight - her trousers were actually tight! So, she had been eating better. Then, she got up from the side of the bed, stood up and hugged me.

I called as I had the week before to let the folks at the salon know how Sarah was. The next day, the owner of the salon went to see her. She was trying to get permission for someone to come and pick her up and take her back to get her hair done. It was a slow process.

Tuesday, we went again to see Sarah and she was outside with a tall, handsome therapist who was helping her feel secure walking with a walker. She knew us right away and it was another big hug.

Yesterday, Sarah was at the salon - in her usual chair - having her hair done like always.

I wanted to tell people about this because you need to know how Sarah got to the salon yesterday.

The owner got permission from Sarah's family (she has only nieces and nephews) to take her out.

Let's stop calling the owner of the salon "owner" and let's call her what she is - let's call her "Caring" - not Carrie but "Caring".

Caring brought her husband's vehicle to work yesterday because it is lower to get in to. When we arrived, her daughter's car was parked in her covered spot and there was a wheelchair waiting for Sarah if she needed it.

Already, it was getting good and I anticipated a good event was happening!

When Sarah arrived, everyone greeted her and it was just like any other day we had been at the salon.

Perhaps I should also mention that Caring did not worry about whether she was going to be paid. Everyone in the salon greeted Sarah and the nice part was that her memory was so good, she said,

"Hi Martha! Martha has been to see me three times and her husband has come with her. He looked like he didn't mind!"

No, he didn't mind.

If there is a Sarah that you know, perhaps you could step out of your comfort zone and visit them today. Perhaps you could do look in on someone you know is alone.

All said and done, when we do nice things for other people without anticipation of reward, we feel really good inside!

Blessings to Caring and her daughter and all the wonderful people who were there yesterday to see what a fine world it can be!

Do Look At Today's Posting at www.fido-and-fifi.blogspot.com

When Money Is Tight . . .

Back in the middle ages, when I was young, Mother used to have some very nice ladies come to help with the household chores. At least one of them had a husband fighting the war.

The women were kind and they were out working to make some money. They had no union and no chip on their shoulder. The made precious little per hour plus bus fare to and from.

So, today, everyone has a car, I guess. And from what I sometimes see, I have to assume that no one needs any cash.

A friend had a circumstance where the lady who has been helping with the household slammed down the phone on her. I felt she learned something and that there are probably many people today who would help her.

Well, I was right and it was a school teacher whose husband is not getting many hours at his job who volunteered to pitch in.

I was very fortunate recently to meet a student who had never had a job. She helped her mother at home and it wasn't very long before she was coming over to help me with the physical things that are harder for us now.

My neighbor, who always liked to do all her gardening, found a young man from the next street who is doing it for her.

Both these people are friendly, smiling and glad to have some extra cash.

Groceries have gone up in price tremendously but if you look carefully, you can probably go out to eat for a more reasonable price than buying and preparing it yourself. Many places do not charge for children's meals during certain hours/days.

Another thing you will find out when eating out these days, is a more polite server.

Got a glass jar to put change in? You will be surprised how soon you will have enough to buy something you have wanted.

I probably do not have to mention coupons to you but there are lots for groceries, drug store items and restaurants. You can find them in your Sunday newspaper but you can also subscribe for e-mails to be sent from stores.

Entertaining at home is back. You can watch a movie (DVD) or play a card or board game. Check with some of us older people to find out how we made out before all the technology that has taken over the current generation - "Y" - I think they call it. I wonder why they are called "Y"?

I leave that one to you.