It has been my experience over the years, that when someone close to you dies, you have about three weeks.
Three weeks? Well, people send cards; they come by; they make sure you are okay.
So, what happens after three weeks? Well, you start to process that the person is actually gone and you try to figure out how your life will be without that person.
Because we were with Hubby's son (my stepson), Mark for three days about ten days before his death, we have the gift of the fine time we had and that means a lot.
An uncle and my grandfather died when I was a teenager and then on my 22nd birthday, my father succumbed to cancer. Both of my children died in infancy, having been born microcephalic. (This means the brain stops growing within the first three months of pregnancy and the child can do very little even fundamental things.)
I won't be giving you a timeline of when others died, but suffice it to say, I am no stranger to deaths and funerals.
How we process these major changes in our life, shapes how happy or sad the rest of our life is going to be.
My mother was a great planner of funerals but she was a poor processor of deaths. So, you could say, she processed the funeral but not the death.
If you have been following this blog, then you know that we have been dealing with medical issues: Hubby's vision specifically. You also have been reading that angels kept crossing my path. People have been really tremendous, and just thinking about that makes me realize how very fortunate I have been to have wonderful people making things easier along the way.
Even before Mark's death, people were doing really nice things for us.
One friend who lives across and down the street picked up Buddy, our Lhasa Apso, from the Vet where he was boarded while we were in Houston for Keith's surgery. He told me to text to let him know as we approached home. He walked Buddy down to our driveway. So, when Hubby lifted his head off the pillow where he had to keep it 23 hours a day, what he saw was his pal, Buddy! What a nice thing for that man to do!
We brought a basket out to the coffee table to hold the notes and cards people sent us. So now we can go through those and truly appreciate how much people attended to us to show us they cared.
Last week I found out that I too will be having eye surgery. So, it is ongoing and life literally does keep on going.
As you know, we are in our Church Choir and so we practice every Wednesday and sing at Sunday morning service. Our Choir and all church friends have been especially kind.
Now it is indeed time to step out and do a few special things. This will be easy because lots of things begin in September.
One thing I did during the summer was to be the liturgist during our Sunday morning service. I had never done that before. So, naturally, I was quite nervous about it.
But wait . . . it gets better! Our Choir Director asked us to sing a solo that same Sunday. When Hubby found out I had accepted, he was a little surprised and asked why.
"Because they might not ask us again!"
We were given a CD of the service and after listening, I said:
"Gee, I think I am a better liturgist than singer."
So I will be liturgist again this month.
Funny, no matter how much people say it, it always surprises me that there is at least one more thing you can try to do that you have never done before. And . . . you just might be very good at it!
So . . . life is going on for us. Yes, we are getting older and yes, it is harder for us to get around as easily as we used to but we can do this.
Now, we have one more watching over us.
This year, Hubby will be in the Community Band, playing his clarinet again. I love that! Bet you did not know that he had not played for 40 years when he dusted off his clarinet to play when the Band started up here in town. He goes over every Tuesday night and next week he will have new glasses to better read the music.
We must never, never give up for that will be the end of us.
By the way, I notice that more and more people offer to help us if it is difficult for us to get up or down steps and there is always someone who will offer a hand.
Yes, we are blessed indeed and we must keep on going.
This evening we were at a party where there were several people we know and a few that we had not met in person before. Facebook fans will appreciate that one man whom I had never met in person told me he always reads my blog.
Wow!
Another man told Hubby that if there is anything he needs help with, just call.
Wow!
We have more friends than we know and if we just keep our eyes open well . . . and soon both of us will be seeing much better . . . we will see that out time is not over yet.
We must never give up because for all of us of all ages, there is just one more new adventure around the corner and one more new friend to be made.
And yes . . . there is one more angel watching over us.
